Posts Tagged ‘evangelical


Church-goers to Dems: don’t bother

The staff at Weekly Review has finally gotten around to getting some of our old videos online for all to enjoy. Most of these are from the live theater version of Weekly Review, performed at Caroline’s on Broadway.

Plenty has been said about whether or not it’s worth it for Democratic candidates to go after the ‘religious’ or ‘values’ voters. Sure, Barack Obama attends church regularly, but his pastor’s KRRRRAZY! And, anyway, isn’t he a Muslim or something? And yeah, Hilary Clinton talks a lot about her walks with Jeezus, and how forgiving her husband for his infidelity was the Christian thing to do. But isn’t it all for naught? After all, most gun-loving, chest-thumping, Bible-reading Christian Americans see the letter “D” after someone’s name and picture a limp-wristed Frenchman who wants to surrender to the nearest terrorist, right?

Well…. yeah. For the most part. It certainly doesn’t help when Chan Chandler, former pastor at the East Waynesville Baptist Church in North Carolina removed the liberal members of his congregation for – wait for it – being liberal. Apparently, church is only for those who are “Christian” in the sense that they see Jeezus as a red-blooded, flag-waving, Republican soldier who spits flames and wields an M-16.

It wasn’t until the IRS decided to investigate Chandler’s shennanigans that he was forced to resign. Before that, he regularly used the pulpit to speak on behalf of God’s messenger, President Bush. Anyway, here’s a quick glimpse into what Chandler’s sermons used to look like before he became unemployed.


Join the airforce! (non-Christians need not apply)

Taking a look at our Air Force, it’s come to the attention of the staff at Weekly Review that there have been over 55 formal complaints in just over four years regarding religious proselytizing.

A recent Pentagon report on the US Air Force Academy found that there was no overt religious discrimination at the taxpayer-funded college, although “There was a lack of awareness on the part of some faculty and staff… as to what constitutes appropriate expressions of faith.”

Apparently, this ‘lack of awareness’ included a Jewish cadet being told by his superior officer that the holocaust was punishment for Jews because the Jews had killed Jesus, and an atheist student being forbidden to start a campus club for “Freethinkers”.

Now, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being completely and totally aware, and a 10 being a mix of Barney Fife and Gomer Pyle-esque awareness, we have to give the people behind this report a 12 for being so ridiculously callous, uninformed and un-Christian.

Un-Christian? Yeah. Un. Christian. Why? Well, from what we here at Weekly Review know about Jesus, while he was up on the cross, His last words certainly weren’t “Payback’s gonna a be a bitch, assholes.” It was something more like “Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do.” How that ties into the holocaust is beyond us.

Anyway, not to worry. The Air Force has a snappy new Theme Song that should lay all religious woes to rest. Frankly, we don’t see what the harm is in forcing our all-volunteer Army, Navy and Air Force to adhere to a narrow-minded liturgy and a xenophobic, intolerant interpretation of the Bible.