11
Jan
08

Spreadable Freedom!

Liberty. Freedom. Democracy. Independence. Glory. Justice. And more Liberty and Freedom. These are the buzzwords you hear spouting out of the words of the mouths of politicians every time they’re on television. Catchy phrases like “Freedom’s on the march”, and we’re “Spreading Democracy” appear on television almost as much as the latest Erectile Dysfunction ad.

We, as American Liberators in Iraq, have done little about providing food, electricity, or security to the people of Iraq, but we sure did bring Freedom by the bombload!

So great is this Freedom that is supposed to somehow magically take root and spread throughout the Middle East like a plague flower, Weekly Review decided to package this Great Ideal and sell it!

Now, coming to a Liberated store near you, from the makers of “Liagra” and “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Torture!” comes: Spreadable Freedom!

It won’t feed you, protect you, or keep your lights on, but it’ll sure feel great to be free*.

*”Free” is defined as whatever law your American-sponsored puppet government deems to be free. Check local government notices for more information. If none are available, ask your local militia leader. If he’s been assassinated or blown up, YOU could be the next local militia leader. Congratulations!

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